lightbulb

realizing that people are "in your life" because of something you can give them feels a lot like day with a really bad hangover, shitty.

it is shitty to realize that you spend your time with people that may not be spending their time with you just because they enjoy your company, but because you have something they want. as much as we try and pretend the opposite, nobody likes that. nobody wants to feel used.

it takes something like this to make you realize something else though, something great. that there are other people in this world who would kill to be in your life for all of the good stuff, and the bad stuff, and to enjoy your company, not just for what you can give them. those people are the ones that are worth it. they are worth the struggle and the pain and the tears, they deserve to see you smile or hear you laugh or know your secrets.
those.people.exist.

don't let anybody fool you, you do not have to give up pieces of yourself for the satisfaction of others. not that you shouldnt give yourself to others, because in my opinion you should, but you should offer a great portion or all of yourself, not just bits and pieces, because you would never want bits and pieces of someone else.

e.t.p.a.b.o.y.y.lalala