literally haven't blogged in my entire life. planned on getting back into it all of senior year, and never did. but i am feeling inspired and figured i might as well jump back on here for an update.
life for me has changed drastically since the last time i blogged, and it has only been six months. although a lot can happen in six months, a lot can happen in a day, in the span of life, six months is such a short amount of time, yet i feel that my life has taken an entire three sixty.
looking back, i was terrified for college, for leaving home, for being on my own, of being vulnerable and impressionable and lost. terrified that the moment i drove away from home would be the moment i grew up. terrified that life as i knew it was perfect and it would never get any better than what i already had.
i.was.wrong.
i have yet to grow up yet. i just control my life. i control my decisions. i control my situations and experiences. but nobody has said ive grown up.
maybe not grown up, but changed, introspectively, absolutely.
you know, i always have said that i believe that everything happens for reason. i.lied. i always wanted to believe that everything happened for a reason, but i never really truly whole heartedly believed that, until now. things happen the way they are supposed to. one thing leads to another, one door opens another. every moment i am disappointed, another moment that i will be satisfied comes next. every person that comes into my life comes for a reason. if it is to teach me a lesson and have me make a mistake, that was supposed to happen. if it is supposed to give me ten minutes of feeling beautiful, it was supposed to happen. i can honestly say i know believe in it, instead of wanting to.
gotta throw a little carpe diem in here. you know me. LIVE BY IT. end of story. we are all constantly presented with opportunities that may not seem like the most logical or responsible decision, with opportunities that scare us, but by taking chances, we live. we breathe. we become better. i have so many instances this semester so far where i made a spontaneous decision to do something just because saying okay was harder than saying no. because i pledged to do something everyday that scared me. its thrilling. just saying okay ill do it, is so much harder than saying no. i have learned that. saying no can be a cop out. saying no can mean you are hiding behind no. if you carpe diem, you will never hide behind no, but use it only when its right. and use yes when you are scared. when you are excited. when you are ready. that is carpe diem.
life is a series of events. some positive, some negative. what we do with those events is up to us. how we react to those events is up to us. if choose to save tonight, to take this wine and drink and delay our miseries, for one more second in life, we might be happy. that is the point i am learning. life has shit. we all have shit and bad days and bad things and we are all crazy. but if we waste our time dwelling on that, we will never be happy. if we delay our miseries and just be happy instead, life will find its way.
enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. lalalala
1 comment:
So i officially want to read this everyday, have my life be followed by what you say. It's all so true, hiding behind no. and growing up is all that we make it to be. As long as we have each other, we'll always be in our young days. love you so much chlobo.
Post a Comment